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Codename Slatz: |
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Back in the day...
The Place: University of Delaware. The Time: Summer of '98. The Theme: Party till you're shit-faced, cuz ain't shit else to do. One day Slatz and Suave got into their usual debauchery, when the (self-proclaimed) Suavefather passed out while the sun was still up. After many unsuccessful attempts to revive Suave, a spectacle had to be made of his low sac behavior. Slatz then proceeded to stack everything that wasn’t tied down in Suave’s room on top of his passed out corpse. This included, but was not limited to, three suitcases, a set of golfclubs and his own coffee table. Suave wasn't pleased. He was later seen throwing the aforementioned golf clubs at Slatz.
We don't see no stinkin badges...
In high school Slatz led the Lexington Park Police Department on a 90 minute car chase in relation to attempted robbery charges. The chase climaxed outside the local Taco Bell when 5 police cars surrounded his ’86 Chevrolet Celebrity, where they proceeded to interrogate and search his "gang" in front of the entire community. The piggies even tried to pin alcohol and drug charges on the innocent youths. After some infamous Slatz fast-talking, the redneck cops determined all charges to be false... or were they?
Just for a beer...
Slatz once drove with Scotty and Big Daddy G from Delaware to Milwaukee for the weekend. Why would someone make a 35 hour round trip? Why else- to get fucked up in the "Land of Miller."
In this corner...
Slatz held the undisputed title of Beer Pong Champion of the Sigma Chi Fraternity for an unprecedented two years in a row. Despite numerous worthy (and not so worthy) challengers he was able to retire with title untarnished and intact. Rumor has it that he will make a venture back to the table this Spring on the Suaver's home turf. Think this will be a challenge for the Slatmeister? Highly unlikely. 
Slatz on formal events...
I just went to a wedding reception without any booze... it’s kinda like going to a funeral with no dead guy, something very important is missing. |
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Droppin bombs like Hiroshima... S|S|S|S|S|S|S|S|S|S|S 
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