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Delaware State Police call on Team Suave for DUI Training!!! The Halloween Party went early into the morning. Girls and booze were everywhere. Suave, Big Daddy G, and Roberto put down for the count. Drunk, passed out, and hungover, they managed to forget they had a morning meeting... with none other than several dozen State Police. 9:00am | University of Delaware The phone rings... Delaware State Police Officer calls Big Daddy G to let him know he's already been waiting a half-hour to pick them up. Gregor takes two Advil, and proceeds to call Suave and Roberto. 9:40am | Newark (Delaware) Police Station The crew arrives halfway shitfaced from the night before and ready to party. They hop in the back of the Caprice and hi-tail it 45 miles at light speed to the Police HQ where the cop cavalry is waiting. 10:00am | 1st State Liquors - Dover, Delaware How much booze to get? Well, let's see... 3 guys, half drunk already, had nothing to eat, and it's only 10 O'clock. How about enough booze to kill a farm animal, sounds about right. By the way, this trip to the liquor store was courtesy of the police department! ممم 1 case of Labatt's Ice, a bottle of Absolut, and some sour mix 10:20am | Conference Room - State Police Department Watching homemade cops videos and getting sloppy drunk. Roberto shows off his bartending skills with Absolut Vodka Sour drinks, Suave subsides his awful hangover by immediately polishing off a six-pack. ممم Roberto pukes in the State Police Officer's private washroom 12:30pm | State Police Department | Gymansium After getting pretty good and wasted, the police decided to do sobriety tests on the drunken idiots. While Suave was doing the tests, he decided to comment and compare to various tests he had before. Next thing you know Suave and Big Daddy were wrestling on the ground with an audience of over 50 police officers. As you could imagine, the police presence did nothing to stop them from their drunken agression. 1:30pm | State Police Department | Intoxilizer Room After the outstanding performance it was time to rank their drunkenness. Suave decided to pass out on the conference room floor and Roberto was falling asleep with the breathalizer in hand. Despite the numerous signs in plain view: "Please do not step on the seal," Big Daddy grabbed two drinks and roared as he stomped all over the State Police Seal on his drunken rampage. ممم Suave blows a .27 BAC, BDG blows a .25, Roberto blows a .25 3:00pm | Police Cruiser Our gracious host made the mistake of leaving 3 drunks in his car unrestrained. While he stopped off at a local pig station, Suaver got on the police radio and decided to tell everyone what a badass he was: "The Old Suave is back, don't fuck with the Old Suave!!!" The cop returned to the car to hear police furiously yelling on the other end of the radio. Regrettably, he had to confess that he got them all drunk for DUI training. Team Suave caused such a stir, every officer on duty had to do a "roll call" to make sure they were all safe! |
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